> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info

November 3rd, 2009

09:39 am I have some major decisions to make....and I'm lost in all the possibilities but know that only I can do this. Fuck! Current Mood: confused Current Music: silence, maybe that's my problem.

(Leave a comment)

October 25th, 2009

(Leave a comment)

February 17th, 2008

02:34 pm - New obsessions.... Megan McCauley Saving Jane Chevelle Finger Eleven Kate Voegelle Current Mood: bored

(Leave a comment)

January 20th, 2008

02:25 pm What I Didn't Say Secrets told in the pictures on your skin Hours fade into days that never end I see myself reflected in your eyes And I hate the way I'm wearing all these lies [CHORUS:] So I let you go And I watch you leave And I hold my breath So you don't hear me scream When you walk away But the words are only in my head It's not what I said It's what I didn't say Is she everything you wanted her to be? Yeah, I bet she never breaks your heart like me So it's one more night I cover up with you And I hate myself for what I didn't do [CHORUS] Should've known better, now All I have left is a permanent stain The only part of you I get to keep forever To prove I lived this pain Maybe I was never as smart as I thought Maybe we can never be as good as we want Maybe you just didn't need me enough Maybe we're too clever to be falling in love like this Like this Secrets told in the silence of my sin And I'm the one who loses in the end Love love love this song! I would change it all if I could, rewind the clock and make some very different choices, but I haven't lost, only gained. Always more than a permanent stain that I ascertain, let it flow. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Saving Jane

(Leave a comment)

January 7th, 2008

07:44 pm - What's your appetite....? Are you hungry, for a little more than what you've had before? Are you hungry, for a taste of life to wet your appetite? Current Mood: mischievous

(Leave a comment)

January 6th, 2008

02:18 am - Sooooo I've been a good girl! So its 2am, and I am home early, have been relatively good tonight after a very well behaved 2 weeks HAAAAAAAAAAAA yeah so I got up to some mischief but dont we all! Back in my bed tonight can't fkn wait! There was a reason I logged in here just now however it seems to have slipped my mind. Whilst away on holiday without access to the net (which was fabulous), no TV, no nothing, had an absolute ball of which I wrote about on OMG shock horror PAPER! and nup can't be bothered re-writing it, but will write a short synopsis (right word? probably not) and fill you in on my adventures! I have no idea why I am on the computer at this time on a saturday night, but it is pretty much the earliest ive been home or at least physically in my own bed, mmmmmm BED! speaking of bed, and god knows why I thought o f it, but finally I washed the sheets on my bed back home home as in mums place, (still have my sunnies on my head)do you think its bad to have sex with numerous people in the same sheets? and when i say numerous I don't mean prostitution style, but I'm pretty sure those sheets have been there for at least 2 and a half years, ok so I only visit every now and then, but yeah, maybe they are pretty much ruined and should be thrown out into some biological waste bin of some kind! Yes indeed a very random sentence or two but random is what I do best so it seems and somewhat under the influence doesnt help my randomness. But hey met a chick tonight that went to school with my ex and another friend of mine, so had a bit of a chat, and hopefully scored her dress when she packs for london......hmmmmm sooooo tempted, speaking of have been in some serious negotiations with families in Italy and one from Switzerland, so when I get what I want, it may time to pack up and go again! God who knows ay! well pretty much enough of my crap at this time of morning, any time for that matter, so I'll shuffle along and get this grandma off to bed. Oh nup its still to hot, so today we all pitched in for a blow up pool, my god SOOOOOO GOOD! we all just chilled out, got out and got ready to party our seperate ways. and YAY I'm back with rusty man, he's soooo cute! So tomorrow will be sleep (or catching up on sleep), pool, arvo bevvies, and dinner eeeeeekkkkkkkkkk then blah work, dont wanna go back! Oh and as a reminder I got something else to write about! POSSUM Current Mood: awake

(Leave a comment)

December 25th, 2007

08:36 pm - Xmas! Bit has happened since my last entry, all of it good :-) Hmmm hard to know where to start really........I think xmas eve day as in Monday I just chilled about and went over to albury and finished off my xmas present and found the BEST ever gift for the girls, inhouse joke but they'll love it, went and had lunch with my mum, shock horror she left the shop on a busy day, was nice just to hang and chill with her I miss that alot. Then thought I couldn't let the sunshine go to waste as it doesn't come out to play too often in melhole, so laid about reading my book "middlesex" got in for a quick dip when the sun was too much, my mate Pez came around to play so caught up and had a laugh and a giggle till he near killed me with some kind of garden implement, we both laughed cause neither of us knew what else to do, god I miss that man. By the time I got back out the back I had turned as red as a tomato, and OUCH! Not seeing sun for 2 and a half years has a nasty effect on your skin :-( Called a mate in melbs and chatted a bit too long (sorry mum) but was good, miss her heaps, we always have a fkn giggle ;-p only prob is that anytime we talk I think naughty hahahaha and dag nam it, I am being well behaved and keeping my dignity and she has a girlfriend and we have agreed that we fkn rock it in the bedroom however try and make it an ongoing thing we suck big time hahahaha love ya KK! It's funny though it was also mentioned that whatever happens between us two we'll always be mates, dunno we have some weird connection lol aka we both shit each other to tears *wink* ummmmm OH FK YEAH the reason I called her was because my bro has apparently found a dealer not far from where I grew up that breeds docked rotti's, they're bloodlines are that strong 80% of pups are being born without their tails, so I am gunna try my darndest to save up for my lil "KRUZ" ok so that was my exciting news, oh yep the exciting life of Zoe Renee! So after burning myself to a crisp, I somehow managed to put some clothes on and hot myself up and headed to Paddy's with my boys, met my cousins there and some friends from high school, and some randoms I've met here there and everywhere. BUT my lust girl is back mmmmmmmmmmm Ok so I have known this girl since she was born, we played barbies way back wehn hehehe the girliest lil thing you could possibly have imagined and her oldest brother was my very boyfriend at the rip ol' age of 1. Anyway A grew up, not so girly, but fkn HOT! Body of heaven, smile is absolutely stunning, hot funky hair, and my god I am lost for words. Anyways she rocks up, comes over gives me a xmas peck shares her beer and all I can do is think "Zoe don't stare, just breathe, hold normal conversation" had a laugh about the amount of lesbians out, quite a few for a small town, but a severe lack of talent. When my ex took me to Sydney for my birthday a few years ago we went to her friends girls footy match, mmmmm A was on her team, and she looked at me, double took, and was like wtf? what are you doing here, was bizaar, then ran into her again the next night at the bank, had a giggle coz we were wearing exactly the same top, yep! anyways random information as per usual with my entries. Told her I'm ummmmmm and ahhhhing about moving to Sydney, she was like yep crash at mine *helllllloooooo there would be NO SLEEPING what so ever* if that happened! Ok so chatting a bit too much about lust girl but hey its pretty much a life long crush here! Oh yeah so had a great night at paddy's, had a relatively early night so as not to suffer yet another painstakingly hungover xmas, and I was still in pain from the burn :-( So yeah up early for xmas, opened our pressies, awwwww I LOVE my parents so much. My brian always and without fail buys us all some weird and quirky muck around gifts, so this year all the other got a puzzle ball and I got an optical illusion puzzle which will take me the next 10 xmas' to complete, but the shared joke gift for us this year was a toy horse race, we got a remote control horse each, and the race track, with barriers and flags and winners post, the lot, so we set that up and all us kids and by kids I mean all over the age of 19 sat out the back setting this up and racing our horses, what a crack up, it was fun though, I love my family and we're all silly and laugh :-) Wished all my mates a merry xmas and happy new year, ate way too much food, did not consume alot of alcohol, quite a shock for those that know me LOL but I was hooked on some of the whacky gifts other family members received in the entire family kris kringle. It actually kept me quiet, quite a few people asked if I was ok cause I am normally the loud one stirring everyone up, but when there is something to conquer, quite as a mouse till I succeed. I succeeded, my volume went up! Think I am writing way too much, however just wanted to express how great my day was, considering I have a huge hole in my heart and thought that christmas would be ruined, but my family and friends are fantastic and I wouldn't let someone like her ruin it for me anyways. I thought about her alot cause we were supposed to share the day together, but it is all for the best that she isn't around anymore because I don't want someone of her character in my life anyways, she sent me a xmas msg and I just thought are you for real, after the things you have said to me, the way you have hurt me, fk off, plus I'm sure I was not the first person she wished a merry xmas to, sloppy seconds, no thanks! Anyways, on a happy note I have had a wonderful xmas, caught up with all my family, and then all us cousins come back here and chilled in the pool ok ok so I didn't I sat in the shade lol but all the same had a great afternoon and dinner! Tomorrow is the boxing day races.....hmmmmm to don the frock or cas it up???? always a big day and a stroll down memory lane as all from school flock back for the festive season. I won't have a voice by the end of the night LOL cause after the races the carriers street party is on and wow does that get messy hehehehe. Hope A goes so I get a bit of a perve session mmmmmmm Alright so enough of my banter, and now the sun has gone down, I can venture outside for a swim. Z Current Mood: bouncy

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

December 23rd, 2007

03:06 pm - Some more ramblings..... Whoa starting to feel a little worse for wear bout now, too much alcohol too little sleep, xmas shopping, xmas wrapping - and laughing my ass off at Joel trying to wrap presents including him near sticky taping his foot to the present oh dear - so think it's a bit of nanny nappage time then off to the weir for a swim and early bbq tea :-) So I think this entry was for me to mention a particular event today that made me quite annoyed possibly a little concerned... so the story goes I messaged a friend earlier to see if her and her girl wanted to come down to Apollo Gay for a night or two while we are there and to bring some "other" single hotties. Now, I mention single cause one I don't wanna be the only single watching the loved up couples lol and two cause a hottie is always better perving material than a not so hottie lol anyways her reply basically read - Nah babe we're going camping up bush but don't worry Jedda will be there just shag her, i had to laugh, so my reply was Ummmmm no and ewwww and she won't be there. Then I thought about her initial response and thought NO FK THAT! So I then msgd again saying, - babe I didn't ask you to bring mates so I could shag them, thats the furthest thing from my mind right now, and to be honest I am having a break from head fkn women. But why her response upset/concerned me was that do most people just think it's ok to break up with someone and jump straight in the sack with some random?? anyways she responded along the lines of *fk thats why I love ya zo, you're a smart one and you stick to your beliefs*. So yeah anywho I have no intention of going off and fuckin some random or the next woman (not girl) that sparks some slight interest. I am happy to chill with mates and whether it be 2 months, a year, or 3.3 years until I meet someone that absolutely astounds me, I'm not gunna just *settle* anymore. And cause I am so bloody random, just saw the tent Im gunna treat myself and the camping mattress mmmmmm can't wait, bring on the camping adventures :-) It's weird now not being with someone to listen to their everyday rambles/thoughts/tid bits of absolute random info and vice versa, so seems for the time being my LJ will be putting up with some extra boring rambles hahahaha Current Mood: peaceful

(Leave a comment)

December 13th, 2007

(Leave a comment)

October 27th, 2007

(Leave a comment)

October 22nd, 2007

06:07 pm Today, leading from built up frustration and ill communication, I lost a friend. I don't know why people can't take words for what they are, really take in the meaning of the words, I say it how it is, but it seems others like to add their own spin and come to an understanding of their own. People! listen to the words, language has a purpose, COMMUNICATION, if you don't understand then get out the dictionary. It's upsetting that people twist and jerk your words around to suit their own purpose and or feelings, and come back at you and say well you said this, when in fact you know exactly what you said and it WASN'T that. They play on your words and add hidden motives unbeknown to the speaker, oh and my favourite...they tell you how you are feeling! Seriously it's not that hard, I'll tell you how I'm feeling, just don't turn around and tell me that it's incorrect, if I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it. Argghhhhh even writing this I am getting frustrated, it is the most annoying thing to have someone tell you how you're feeling or what the words you just said mean, damn it I said it, should I write it down for you too! Fuck, over it! Current Mood: frustrated

(Leave a comment)

October 21st, 2007

(Leave a comment)

(Leave a comment)

March 9th, 2007

06:25 pm - Tick! Tick! Tick! Is anything ticking up there? Girls astound me..... why would you fall for or be interested in someone that has all the things that irritate the fuck out of you? I am me, I won't change me for anything, accept me as i am and take on board the good and the bad as i will for you? Only maybe when I find that person that takes my breat away, only then may i change ;-) Thats all folks! Current Location: home Current Mood: ecstatic

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

October 30th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

August 23rd, 2006

(Leave a comment)

July 12th, 2006

(Leave a comment)

March 24th, 2006

07:19 pm - wasting time! Avoiding study again, but hey its a friday and lately avoiding study has paid off, yet another drum roll ..... 100% in Spanish. Mark with an X the things that are true. Appearance [ ] I am shorter than 5'4 (by about half an inch!) [x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. [x] I have many scars. [x] I tan easily. [ ] I wish my hair was a different color. [ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. [x] I have a tattoo. [x] I am self-conscious about my appearance [ ] I've had braces. [x] I wear glasses. (supposed to) [ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free [x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. [x] I have more than 2 piercings. [x] I have piercings in places besides my ears. [ ] I have freckles. Family/Home Life [x] I've sworn at my parents. [x] I've run away from home. [ ] I've been kicked out of the house. [ ] My biological parents are together. [ ] I have a sibling less than one year old. [x] I want to have kids someday. [ ] I've had children. [ ] I've lost a child. School/Work [x] I'm in school. (uni) [x] I have a job. [x] I've fallen asleep at work/school [x] I am almost always doing my homework. [ ] I've missed a week or more of school. [ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years. [ ] I failed more than 1 class last year. [ ] I've stolen something from my job. [ ] I've been fired Embarrassment [ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation. [x] Disney movies still make me cry. [ ] I've peed from laughing. [x] I've snorted while laughing. [x] I've laughed so hard I've cried. [ ] I've glued my hand to something. [x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. [x] I've had my pants rip in public. Health [ ] I was born with a disease/impairment [ ] I've gotten stitches. [ ] I've broken a bone. [ ] I've had my tonsils removed. [x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend [x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed. (only one) [ ] I had a serious surgery [x] I've had chicken pox. (twice) Travelling [x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. [x] I've been on a plane. [ ] I've been to Canada. [ ] I've been to Mexico. [ ] I've been to Niagara Falls. [ ] I've been to Japan. [ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans. [x] I've been to Europe. [ ] I've been to Africa. Experiences [x] I've gotten lost in my city. [x] I've seen a shooting star. [x] I've wished on a shooting star. [ ] I've seen a meteor shower. [x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas. [ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator [x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. [x] I've been to a casino. [ ] I've been skydiving. [x] I've gone skinny dipping. [ ] I've played spin the bottle. [ ] I've drunk a whole gallon of milk in one hour. [ ] I've crashed a car. [x] I've been skiing. [x] I've been in a play [x] I've met someone in person from the internet. [x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue. [ ] I've seen the Northern Lights. [ ] I've sat on a roof top at night. [ ] I've played chicken. [x] I've played a prank on someone. [x] I've ridden in a taxi [ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. [ ] I've eaten Sushi. [ ] I've been snowboarding. Relationships [x] I'm single. [ ] I'm in a relationship. [ ] I'm engaged. [ ] I'm married. [x] I've gone on a blind date. [ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper. [x] I miss someone right now [ ] I have a fear of abandonment. [ ] I've cheated in a relationship. [ ] I've gotten divorced [x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. [x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. [x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. [x] I've kept something from a past relationship. Sexuality [x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex [ ] I've had a crush on a teacher. [x] I am a cuddler. [x] I've been kissed in the rain [x] I've hugged a stranger. [ ] I have kissed a stranger Honesty/Crime [x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't. [x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. [x] I've snuck out of my house. [x] I have lied to my parents about where I am. [x] I am keeping a secret from the world. [x] I've cheated while playing a game. [ ] I've cheated on a test. [x] I've run a red light [ ] I've been suspended from school. [ ] I've witnessed a crime. [x] I've been in a fist fight. [x] I've been arrested. (sort of, i was 14 and had a 5 year bond) [x] I've shoplifted. Drugs/Alcohol [x] I've consumed alcohol. [x] I regularly drink. [x] I've passed out from drinking. [ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months. [x] I've smoked weed [x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them. [ ] I've eaten shrooms. [x] I've popped E. [ ] I've inhaled Nitrous. [x] I've done hard drugs. [ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. [ ] I can't swallow pills [x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time [x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. [x] I shut others out when I'm depressed. [x] I've taken anti-depressants. [ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic. [x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it. [x] I've hurt myself on purpose. [ ] I'm addicted to self harm. [x] I've woken up crying from a bad dream. Death and Suicide [ ] I'm afraid of dying [x] I hate funerals. [ ] I've seen someone dying. [ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide. [ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide. [x] I've planned my own suicide. [x] I've attempted suicide. [ ] I've written a eulogy for myself. Materialism [ ] I own over 5 rap CDs. [ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. [ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece. [ ] I own something from Hot Topic. [ ] I own something from Pac Sun. [ ] I collect comic books. [ ] I own something from The Gap. [x] I own something I got on e-bay. [ ] I own something from Abercrombie. Random [ ] I can sing well. [x] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. (hey if you can't hire a toboggan?) [ ] I open up to others easily. [ ] I watch the news [ ] I don't kill bugs [x] I dislike hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme. [x] I curse regularly. [ ] I sing in the shower. [ ] I am a morning person. [ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone. [ ] I'm a snob about grammar. [ ] I am a sports fanatic. [x] I twirl my hair. [ ] I have "x"s in my screen name [x] I love being neat I like for things to be organised [ ] I love Spam. [ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day. [ ] I bake well. [ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. [x] I would wear pajamas to school. [ ] I like Martha Stewart. [x] I know how to shoot a gun. [ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. [x] I laugh at my own jokes. [ ] I eat fast food weekly [ ] I believe in ghosts. [ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message. [x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class (Business mgt and English Year 12) [ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. [x] I am really ticklish. [x] I love white chocolate. [x] I bite my nails [ ] I play video games. [x] I'm good at remembering faces. [ ] I'm good at remembering names. [x] I'm good at remembering dates. [x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. [x] My answers were totally honest. Current Mood: She kissed me :-) Current Music: Sarah Blasko

(Leave a comment)

March 21st, 2006

(Leave a comment)

January 29th, 2006

(Leave a comment)